It was Kathy who re- introduced me to the idea of practices…slowly, gently, wisely.
Kathy: “Huh. I wonder why [insert current challenge and my reaction to it]. Maybe you should try journaling about that.”
Week after week. Month after month. Sometimes I would, and sometimes I would resist it. But a pattern emerged I could no longer ignore. When I wrote about it, I felt better after. I poured my heart on the page, little emotions, big emotions… disappointment, frustration, rage. And always, by the end, I felt lighter. My 8-year-old tender wounded self might start the journal entry…but my adult wise self would rule by the end.
So I committed. I committed to journaling, daily, for 3 pages (Julia Cameron’s “Morning Pages”) to see where it would take me. A practice, not a perfect, that would help me access my own inner wisdom and Divine light.
I thank God (and Kathy!) for my journaling and other practices.
Because in spite of my requests for “Time Out” the Universe continues to toss heart-wrenching challenges in my direction (my mother’s stroke, my son’s school erupting in turmoil, a break up).
I have an unshakeable belief that the Universe is conspiring in my best interest (and yours!) no matter what it throws my way. Through my husband’s diagnosis and subsequent death, I learned that though I have no control over some of the events in my life, I do have control over my reaction to them. I made a conscious choice to always look for the gifts in life’s challenges. And generally I do so, with the earnest expectation of a child at Christmas.
But there are days when the gifts are not where I expect or want them to be. Then I’m the sweet little girl, rounding the corner with a bright smile expecting a Christmas tree surrounded by gifts, who sees nothing but a few pine needles dotting the rug. I lift the rugs to look for the gifts…I run to other rooms to see if Santa got confused about where to put the gifts…I come back to the living room and prepare to stomp my foot, “Where are the gifts?!?!?”
And then, as I journal, I meet that sweet little girl self on the page and re-introduce her to the wise woman I am today. I tell her what I know now… these are the kinds of gifts that don’t appear when you are moving, when you are frantic, when you are demanding, when you are stomping your feet that things aren’t going the way YOU want or expect them to.
These are the gifts that materialize when you are still, when you are centered, when you are calm. And so she and I write and write some more. And from that calm, centered space that emerges, together we find them.
Ellie Bassick-Trovato and Kathy MacDonald are passionate about helping women find practices that nurture and sustain their inner, most wise self. Through their company, Spark Your Spirit, they offer women’s coaching groups, teleseminars, workshops, and individual coaching. For more information, write email@example.com or Kathy@spark-your-spirit.com. To sign up for their newsletter, visit: http://www.spark-your-spirit.com.